You stand on a distant planet Skyline of red plateaus Strange air and vegetation You're a winner! Welcome to the Space Olympics The year 3022 Take part in a grand tradition Your name echoes in the holes of the universe!
OHHHHHH! Yeahh yeahhhhh Believe in yourself Take your game into outer space
Every single galactic athlete Needs a coded ID badge Drug tests are mandatory You're a winner! The Athlete's Village is on Zargon You all get a junior suite We don't cover incidentals So keep your ass off the minibar!
You're the best in the world! Brace yo'self cause there's no gravity You're in the motherfuckin Space Olympics! Yeahh-hah-hahhhh
Let it be known by every nation You'll only get one meal a day There was a bit of a budget snafu And food funding is insufficient! We can't really enforce a curfew As there is no light or sound Just one of the many problems with hosting a sporting event in space
(Attention all athletes) (There are minor scheduling adjustments)
Space Disc! Is totally cancelled Space Swords! Is totally cancelled Space Luge! Is also cancelled And all other events are pending!
Welcome to your Space Olympics All the oxygen has run out And someone who will not be named Accidentally hit self-destruct As you file to your escape pods I'll distract the alien hordes (YOU'RE IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN SPACE OLYMPICS) And as I stare death in the face I know my sins will take me to hell
You do it for the love, my love And there ain't no woman that could take your spot my love