Jumped out of the second floor of a record store With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder In Ecuador with Edward Norton Witness the metamorphosis of a legend growin' like an expert swordsman From the Hessian war and hence the origin of the headless horseman Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan Endless sores and reservoir of extension cords in dresser drawers And deadbolts on the bedroom doors And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin Excellent boyfriend
Use intercourse to settle scores with women who have been vendettas towards men Dickhead is forced in to the shredded foreskin Reddish torn and they're only bein' fed a portion Bed sores in [?] Pregnant whores can get abortions Fetish for stickin' metal forks in Self absorption Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor A predator, I'm headed for competitors Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store Stegosaurus Chuck Norris with a thesaurus Yes of course, I mess up once You want some? Come and get some, boys I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course On excessive force and pressure points And dressin' George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange Dress and four inch heels to address the court With a bullseye on his back His whole chest and torso Are left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him
In my present form I'm Desert Storm Appetite for destruction is no suppressant for Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel Unpleasant, horrible, hello gorgeous The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus Metacontortionist, so when you wanna get sexual? She said, "However I fit in your schedule, I'm flexible" Expired tags on the Saturn Got Kathryn Beck in the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on At a traffic stop gettin' harassed, sign an autograph For this asshole cop's daughter, laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it He spat on it and brought it back lookin' half in shock Had a heart attack and dropped dead Started fallin' back with it and got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock
One ball and half a dick, Apple watch Crack for an axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff Pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and crashes Asked if they had a laugh in stock That was fuckin' stupid...
You got it twisted All 'cause I offered this bitch a doggie biscuit you call me misogynistic Bitch get to massagin' this dick Like spas in this bitch Slob on it with gobs of lipstick Got a shoppin' list for you to run some odds and ends with It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with She's non-existent Robin Thicke with a throbbin' dick on some swab and slick shit But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin' missile launches Misfit, blond and nitwit like I've gone ballistic With a frostin' tip kit Screamed, "I hate blondes," and became one I'm optimistic Love to start shit Shovin' Clark Kent's undergarments in the glove compartment Of the bucket, bumpin' Bubba Sparxxx I'm double parkin' up at Targets Trouble 'cause a double cross The shadiest mothafucka you'll ever come across Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer Same damn brain scan results As Rainman's is Something's awful when Dustin Hoffman's Dressin' up in your mummy costume On stage dancin' to "Brain Damage" What's the problem? Nothing's wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status Run the faucet, I'm about to dunk a bunch of Trump supporters underwater Snuck up on 'em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan It's a wrap like an Ace bandage Don't-give-a-fuck persona To my last DNA strand, E&J in the waistband At the VMAs with the stagehand She wants kielbasa Pre-arrange an escape plan Three inch blade on point like a [?] Consider me a dangerous man but you should be afraid of this dang candidate You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet 'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin' And that's what you wanted A fuckin' loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button Who doesn't have to answer to no one
If I was president Gettin' off is the first order of business Once I get in office Second thing that'll make me happy's walkin' up to Uncle Sam Naked, laughing, dick cupped in hand Screamin', "Fuck safe sex," throw a latex and an AIDS test at him Tell congress I run this land And I want the rubber banned And make it snappy Addiction to friction and static Addict who can't escape the habit It's in you to chase the dragon But as fate would have it I walked up in major Magics Dressed as the maintenance man In a laser tag vest and a racin' jacket With a gauge to blast it And sped away in the station wagon Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's crazy asses in the backseat Throwin' Stay-Free pads at me Dead passenger in the passenger seat Unfasten the safety latches And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires Finna get a murder case and catch it Like you threw it at me encased in plastic
And send Dylan Roof through the windshield of the Benz Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin' Like a windmill with a thin bill while his skin's peelin' And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder You want to go against zilla? The Rap God When will I quit? Never been realer The in-stiller of fear, not even a [??] of doubt Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller Revenge killer of bin syllable binge Fill a syringe, till I Draw first blood Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular Couldn't be more awkwarder Cause you're innocence I robbed you of It's my fingers that got stuck up Tortured a, not give a Slapstick, hockey puck The board hunter with the sawed off Like an arm when it's lopped off But I'm not gonna, get the shotgun Or the Glock, I'm gonna opt for the ox Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I sharpen It's not a shock, I'm such an obnoxious fucker The rock cuts into rock cause who would have thought This much of a cocksucker that go across the box of Vicia Fox with a box cutter That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned I'm unrevealing quickly My squabbles, I'm grappling with your time traveling with me Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles Like what happened to Chris Reeves spine column That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off'em But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles And why I had to come back on these faggots who diss me More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel But my patient is wearing thin Swear I been contemplating rubbing shit in your face till I smear it in Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen And never appear again If you actually had fucking careers to end But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer'em in that direction and forget my ideas for them Molly I'm gone off you Man light some kush You're my first take, I'll nail you Can't lie, I gush If I won you over, you would be the grand prize I'm entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push You can get it in a can like some Anheuser Busch Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush Mushed against your damn side, you puss And tights are squooshed What kind of attires that? I'm ready to be rode Psychopath, bet you we'll get it popping like a flat Like the match to ignite the wrath Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me Like a scab Hard to describe in fact Startling violent perhaps Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that And you aren't really surprised at that But as far as these lines I rap And these bars, wouldn't dial it back if I star 69'ed the track