As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel things that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thein Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish Paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week, I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek. I really don't care, in fact I wish him well, 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off When he's burning in hell.
And I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool!
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare, We're just technologically impaired!
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar, Not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be.
We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish Paradise. We don't fight we all play nice Living in an Amish Paradise
Hitching up the buggy Churning lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, Soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous, Think you're pure in heart, Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy that little olmletes wannna be like on meknee Day and night, scoring points for the after-life! So don't be vain, and don't be whiney, Or else my brother I might have to get midevil on your hiney!
We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish Paradise We're all crazy mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish Paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish Paradise