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I'm a Very Important Person
I park in the V.I.P
And when I go to the bathroom
I go in the V.I.P toilet
And when I wanna change a lightbulb
I don't do it myself
I have a technician
Cause I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P
Now, as I began to become a V.I.P
I forgot what i've become a V.I.P for
I began to grow accustomed to people saying
Right this way sir...drinks are on the house
Flight attendants on airplanes saying

Please Really, I don't wanna bother you sir
But it's such a pleasure to have you on board
May I have your autograph for my daughter
Yeah baby right after I go to the toilet
I I'll give you a couple of'em
Cause i'm a V.I.P

Now, one thing about V.I.P is,is they never seem to be alone
The true V.I.P must travel with an entourage
People who say Right on boss
Cause it's a V.I.P
Right on boss
I'm a V.I.P
As I began to realise that I had gained V.I.P status
Worries began to creep in
What if one day,i woke up,and i was no longer a V.I.P
No more good tables at the restaurants
No more strange women smiling and approaching me on the streets
No more top notch booty
No more entourage to say Right boss
I began to have nightmares
And in my nightmares, I was just a fucking nobody
Laying at the beach, imagining myself being a VIP
Just like I was before
Hearing the applause in my head
Beautiful warm embraces of superior members of the female gender


Of course, when one becomes a V.I.P
One meets other V.I.Ps
At social occasions
And one inevitably thinks
How shallow and crass these people are
They're not down to earth and real like me
I'm a very special V.I.P

Another interesting phenomenon,
Associated with V.I.P celebrityhood, is the V.I.P reflection effect
During which anyone associated with the V.I.P
Becomes a sort of V.I.P in their own right
Such as son OF the V.I.P
Guitar player FOR the V.I.P
Girlfriend WITH the V.I.P
Accountants of the V.I.
The maid, the dog, the music publisher
All enjoy a sort of 'reflected glory', as in

Hi this is Nastea
I work for Iggy
And i'd like 6 tables tonight in the V.I.P section
And he needs passes for everyone
And free drinks of course
In the V.I.P area
Right on boss
Cause I'm a V.I.P.
It's also true that when one is a V.I.P, everybody's happy to see you
All the time
And there's an implicit rule that a V.I.P must never never
Be on a barn
Cause everybody expects YOU to make their day
And they're all be on to you if you're in a bad mood
They will thck!tchk!tchk
And you will find yourself with the wrong kind of attention
A difficult V.I.P
Psychologists tell us that a sense of self-esteem
Is so necessary in today's world
As a V.I.P, I can guarantee you, you'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
Cause you're a V.I.P

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