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Song for Charlie

Camp Cope

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When I asked what closure felt like
No one could give me a solid answer
When we turned around the corner
I felt my entire body shake
I swear it didn’t look like him
Those hands were dirty and that was comforting
And when she said don’t be afraid
For the last time, I touched his face

And I drove over Sunday morning
I couldn’t stop shaking the whole way
And she walked over to the thermostat
Said the house needed to be warm today
And we all sat there in silence
Listening to our mother cry
And I felt it when it hit
I feel everything

And I heard you practicing in the shower
All the things you were gonna say
Though I didn’t hear specific words
Boy, I tell you, you sounded brave
You were that little bit too late
Probably wouldn’t have changed him anyway
But if I said that I felt the same
Would it feel okay?

And I keep his photo in my wallet
Yeah, I watch home videos sometimes
To hear his voice and see him smile
To heal the impact on my life
Still hoping I’ll see him on the street
Or in the house he built around me, my sisters, and my brother
For the strongest woman I’ve ever known, my mother

And I keep his photo in my room
And how he looked so much like you
Charlie, you’re gonna be okay
At least tomorrow, if not today
And Charlie, I’m gonna be okay
And there is no one we can blame
Charlie, you’re gonna be okay
At least tomorrow, if not today
Keep playing your songs everyday
Oh, and when you’re not okay
You can always call
And it was no one’s fault

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