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Field Medic

It's Still You...

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i come home late
after closing the coffee shop
make myself some dinner
then get to drinking
& peter down at the corner store
the young man, our friend remember?
well, he's moving on
he don't work there anymore
i went by last night & he was gone
& i just wish i could tell you

wake up, phone call
from the LAPD
say they wanna talk to me about the theft
can't say i haven't been keeping busy
i couldn't write a song
so i tried to play that song
that we used to sing together bout sailing
couldn't make it thru the first verse
without breaking down & crying
what the hell is wrong with me...
hey i just wish we could sing it.

to answer your letter-
most days i'm doing fine
but sometimes i still get deep down dark & feeling low
but now i wear sunglasses
& a big jacket
& get so high that i can't see the bottom
it helps a little
& when it's too hard to handle
i call carlos
yeah, we talk it out..
but i just wish i could call you.

remember that time we rode the train to san mateo
& met up with my mom & her husband
she'd just found $20 on the ground
so she took us out to lunch
& it was raining
after that we said goodbye
then walked down to the tea gardens
beneath our broken umbrella
& when we got there it was closed
we did our best to enjoy ourselves
despite it all
but by then the sun was setting on our problems
i want to say sorry.

i got this whole trunk of love poetry between us
that i can't put away or throw away or even begin to think about so
it just sits in the window waiting
for the day when some new little rose
is gonna be heading on over
& i'll just sweep it away
sweep our memories up
like i'm making my bed
without thinking
just like i'm making my bed without thinking
& that's no way to say thank you

that whole thing about the LAPD
well- it's not as bad as it sounds
i just cashed a check for somebody
that turned out to be stolen
i think i did it cuz i was lonely
i got the call today that the bank's gonna pay restitution
but there was a while there
where i thought i was gonna get thrown in a cell
or be on the line for $5000
& you don't know the first thing about it
beginning middle or end but
it's still you
that arrests me & robs me

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